applespice: it is a sparkly fairy ([funny] get one sin free)
How About Them Apples? ([personal profile] applespice) wrote2009-10-09 04:29 pm

Topic 0 - Introductions and Productions of the Interneterary Kind

My name is Allison and let's get real - this may or may not be the 915711713th of these introductions you have read. Respecting this, I will attempt to make this as interesting as I possibly can, and I hope you understand that if I fail, at least my heart was in the right place. Mom always said that's what mattered, after all (though admittedly Mom and I conflict on any number of Key Life Points so it's possible I'm just throwing her a bone with this one).

I am twenty-three years old, a high school English teacher, and impressively liberal despite being raised as a particularly vehement and particularly conservative breed of fundamentalist Christian. Those are the barest of bones when it comes to my life, but I thought I'd start out with the basics and expound from there, adding in all of the organs, muscle, and (let's face it) fatty tissue as we go along.

People say I'm young for what I do, and as far as I can tell they're right. Though I'd never describe myself as a go-getter, somehow I do manage to get things done and fast. Some people interpret this as high achievement, and I don't generally disabuse them of the notion even if I do think they're completely off the rails crazy for saying so. Mostly I think it's because I hate lingering over things; I'd rather just get it done and move along, preferably to doing a whole lot of nothing. I flew through undergrad at the University of Arkansas, and when I waded out into the murky waters of our present economic climate with naught but a BA in English to keep me afloat, I decided to go to graduate school to become a teacher. It was self-preservation, really, not some kind of noble calling. Somehow I made it through and was hired this year at a low-income school in a suburb of Dallas.

Teaching is insane. I feel like I'm insane just for doing it, especially at such a young age. I may be twenty-three, but I look about seventeen - something that both teachers and students delight in telling me. My students, by the way, are bugnuts crazy. All sixteen-year-olds are, in their own way, but somehow I'd forgotten that in the seven years I've spent apart from actually being sixteen. Mostly I just try to make it through the day without roundhouse kicking a child in the face. Mostly I succeed. Mostly I even like the kids, but that is generally when they're out of my vision and hearing.

I think we've covered my first two bones, so let's hit the third. I was born and raised Pentecostal, a fundamentalist Christian faith that involves dancing in the aisles, no pants for the ladies, tongue-talkin', and a fair amount of prophesy and exorcism for added flavor. My parents trained up this child in the way they thought she should go since birth, and I didn't even realize there was something distinctly rotten in the state of Denmark until I reached the age of sixteen. Suddenly the light came on and I began to see all of the religiosity as a kind of well-meaning brainwashing. My parents just think I got sick of wearing frumpy denim skirts, having ratty-ass hair down my back, and being unable to cover up my adolescent proliferation of acne with makeup, but it was much more than that. I started really paying attention to what people were saying, and how they used the Bible to justify all kinds of ridiculousness. All the isms reared their ugly heads and I found myself unimpressed with Pentecostalogic.

So I started asking questions. Let me tell you, people, fundamentalist Christians don't like questions. They follow the circular logic that "the Bible is true because it says in the Bible that the Bible is true," and they don't really peer any further than those pages, or even into them most of the time. When I asked people to justify the things they said, they'd always refer me back to the Bible. Sadly, I needed a little more than that.

I made my formal break with Pentecost when I was in college. A few relatives tried to plan some religious interventions for me, and I have no doubt that many a tear was shed over my heathen ways, but I haven't backed down yet and I don't plan to. As much as I respect the fact that the Pentecostal church inspires quite a bit of joy and even a feeling of redemption in people, I don't and can't agree with their policies or beliefs.

Nowadays I'm a free agent religiously. I'm figuring things out in my own time, but there's plenty about my past that makes me hesitant to explore organized religion. My main focus is on being a decent person (remember, I'm really trying not to kick those kids in the face) and living my life in a way that makes me happy. I do an okay job. I'm in the middle of the best relationship of my life, I've got a steady paycheck and a place of my own, and I get to cut loose and live debaucherously every once in awhile. It'll do, pig. It'll do.

[identity profile] stormkitty.livejournal.com 2009-10-09 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I spent 4 years married to a pastor's son in the Assemblies of God (and did 4 years time at one of their bible colleges). I saw way too much hypocrisy that I had to walk away from the church all together once I divorced him (he was abusive and this was condoned by his father). I like the term "free agent" when it comes to spirituality.

Best of luck this season! I look forward to reading more from you!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
Yeesh, I can't imagine. Girls were forever going off to Bible College at the churches I attended, though thankfully everyone figured pretty early that I was the Bible College type. I can't imagine being married to any of the pastor's sons I've met... they always seem to be pricks.

Thank you! And thanks for reading my intro - I love that you've read all of them. You're awesome.

[identity profile] baxaphobia.livejournal.com 2009-10-09 11:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh teaching high school! The only thing worse is teaching middle school! hahahaha. I liked your honesty as to your religious background and your break from it! I'm sure you will have some great entries that I look forward to reading!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks! And teaching, augh. I can't even imagine middle school. I briefly thought I might like to teach middle school, but have been quickly corrected by peers who've managed to survive and escape.

(no subject)

[identity profile] baxaphobia.livejournal.com - 2009-10-10 08:22 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] johnmill79.livejournal.com 2009-10-09 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
I think I agree with you on the religion thing. Just trying to go my own way, mostly.

I had a crush on my 22-year-old teacher when I was in high school. lol She was so close to our age!

Do enjoy the contest.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
It's harder than having someone just tell you what to do and what to believe, but more rewarding ultimately, I think.

Some of my students have crushes on me... their attempts to flirt are pretty harmless, though.

Thanks!

[identity profile] zia-narratora.livejournal.com 2009-10-09 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I ALREADY KNOW YOU. But I should say this: I really admire your openness about your religious life and the issues you've encountered. I know it's hard to make a choice like that when you know it's not what your family wants for you.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
SO YOU DO, MADAME, SO YOU DO!

Thanks :) I'm weirdly open about most things, but seemingly even more so when they're things that I'm caught up in emotionally. A kind of therapy, I guess?

[identity profile] tattooedsappho.livejournal.com 2009-10-09 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
if you ever do break down and kick a child in the face, try to have someone tape it and upload it to the net, will ya? that would be awesomesauce. totes. ;)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
You know I'd never let you down!

[identity profile] pricelessone.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, wow, can I ever relate to your break (and your reasons for breaking from) the Pentacostal church. Welcome, and the best of luck this season!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! There seem to be several of us ex-fundies around these parts - always good to meet people who understand all of the weird nuances of the thing.

[identity profile] smartamy15.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
"I didn't even realize there was something distinctly rotten in the state of Denmark until I reached the age of sixteen."

Reason number 13981390481 why I love you and your lj entries! :)

It's always fun reading another about-me, and I enjoyed your openness about your religious journey of sorts.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
Aw, thanks! :)

[identity profile] callistahogan.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 01:35 am (UTC)(link)
You are an English teacher--a young English teacher, at that--and so I want to be you when I get older. I've wanted to be an English teacher for so long. Mind maybe teaching me some things? ;-)

I have read about a hundred of these intros, but yours did end up being interesting. So kudos for you. I wish you the best of luck!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
Hey, I'll tell you anything you want to know. I rarely shut up about teaching - I think the people who see me every day are becoming exhausted with me because of it!

Thank you!

[identity profile] bakerlooline.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
HEY I KNOW YOU! :)

is your sister still religious?

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
WHY YOU DO INDEED

She is, vaguely. She still identifies as Pentecostal, as far as I know, and occasionally attends church with my parents. Still, she's not exactly a hardliner on the issue.

[identity profile] faire-weather.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
Off to a good start!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
Well, thankee kindly!
finding_helena: Girl staring off into the distance. Text from "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel (Default)

[personal profile] finding_helena 2009-10-10 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
I enjoyed this post. It was an interesting use of the space.

I can't stand the notion of not being allowed to question God or religious teachings. My denomination (Episcopalian) teaches that we should use our own sense of reason to help us interpret Scripture. Last week we read the "Let the little children come unto me" bit in Mark, and discussed how seeing God as a child does is not incompatible with asking questions at all, since little children ask a zillion questions and don't shy away from "inappropriate" questions.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks!

I can't stand it, either. I feel like my entire life is about questioning. Blindly accepting things as "true" without deeper inquiry really isn't my style. It's awesome that your denomination emphasizes questioning in a positive way - I think that if more groups did that, many people would feel more at ease with religion.

[identity profile] joeymichaels.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 03:34 am (UTC)(link)
As you know, teaching is vital and if you can make it passed the first five years, you'll be hooked.

Those fire five years can be a drag, man.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I've heard that it's really just a matter of time, waiting out the tough stuff until you've settled in. Just gotta keep fighting the good fight, I suppose!

[identity profile] liret.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
I'm glad you're doing this!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I'm glad you are, too :)

[identity profile] twystedpixie.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
I happen to be living in Dallas, myself. And wanting to go overseas to teach English. Where are you teaching, exactly? And you quoted Babe. Well done. :)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-11 10:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I teach over in Garland, actually! Thanks :) Whereabouts in Dallas are you?

[identity profile] majesticarky.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 08:58 am (UTC)(link)
Well you did go a good job in making your intro interesting! I'm not sure how I'd survive as a HS teacher. Good luck with the kids! They can be pretty nasty in HS, especially if you're not teaching honors/AP classes. I went to a low income school and some of the kids there were definitely little shits.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-11 10:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Awesome! Thanks!

Being a HS teacher is definitely tough. I've found that both my honors/pre-AP classes and my regulars classes are tough, but for different reasons. Depending on what kind of day I'm having, I am either annoyed by one group or the other!

[identity profile] imafarmgirl.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 12:27 pm (UTC)(link)
You sound quite interesting. I feel like I know you better by the way you presented your intro which is a good thiing. Welcome and I look forward to hearing your stories.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-11 10:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Why, thank you! :)

[identity profile] java-fiend.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think most of the organized religions encourage questions or thinking for one's self to well. At least, that was my experience back in the day when I was a good churchin' boy. Good on you for taking the time to figure stuff out on your own!

Your intro is about the fourteen billionth I've read but it was indeed very interesting. Thanks for throwing your mom a bone. :-)

Nice to "meet" you and I will most definitely look forward to reading your entries!!!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-11 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think so, either. Fundamentalism generally relies so heavily on the dogma that questions are seen as disrespecting the faith.

I'm glad that it was interesting for ya! I'd hate to be a bore.

Nice to meet you as well!

(no subject)

[identity profile] java-fiend.livejournal.com - 2009-10-11 23:40 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] flashpapertiger.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I look forward to reading your entries~ Good luck this season

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-11 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I look forward to your entries as well.

[identity profile] kittenboo.livejournal.com 2009-10-10 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey this is a technical issue but wanted to let you that you actually didn't sign up correctly for ljidol. I am not sure how strict clauderainsrm is with the signups but from what I saw you posted in the signup saying you were signing up. Technically you need to post in your journal an entry saying that you are signing up and then post in the signup post a link to your entry. I did not look in the topic 0 post to see if you linked that correctly.

this is nothing personal I've just been going through all the sign ups and helping anyone who was confused by the directions!

good luck!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-11 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I actually did make that entry, it was just friends-only, which I thought was okay in the rules? I've unlocked it now. Thanks.

(no subject)

[identity profile] kittenboo.livejournal.com - 2009-10-11 23:17 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] onda-bianca.livejournal.com 2009-10-11 12:03 am (UTC)(link)
I agree...teaching is crazy! I'm an elementary teacher myself. I couldn't imagine teaching the high school kids! You have my utmost respect for that!

Haha, I like how you describe yourself as a free agent as far as religion...funny.:)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-11 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
See, I can't imagine teaching the elementary schoolers! You're the true soldier in my opinion.

Thanks! :)

(no subject)

[identity profile] onda-bianca.livejournal.com - 2009-10-12 01:56 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-11 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Jaysus!

[identity profile] edith-jones.livejournal.com 2009-10-12 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
I went to a Pentecostal church once, out of curiosity. I never went back, as the people speaking [i.e.yelling] in tongues scared me so much. Also, I was the only white person in the church, and had to put up with a lot of staring, which was also a little scary.
My husband is a high school English teacher and I don't know how either of you do it. He loves his job and is good at it, loves the kids; they'd have to commit me to an asylum after a week if they gave me the job. I admire you both.
I hope you enjoy this season of LJ Idol and I wish you good luck. It's nice to meet you, btw, my name is Allie.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2009-10-12 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
I think it definitely scares off a lot of people. Sometimes I visit the church for my parents' sake, and it scares me now. And I grew up with it!

I hope that I reach the point where I love the job... and the kids. Right now I'm just trying to survive.

Thank you, and nice to meet you :)
shadowwolf13: (Default)

[personal profile] shadowwolf13 2009-10-13 03:36 am (UTC)(link)
Fantastic post! I'm really looking forward to more from you because I'm betting they're going to be great stories!

Best of luck this season. :)

[identity profile] beautyofgrey.livejournal.com 2009-10-13 11:22 am (UTC)(link)
So I started asking questions. Let me tell you, people, fundamentalist Christians don't like questions. They follow the circular logic that "the Bible is true because it says in the Bible that the Bible is true," and they don't really peer any further than those pages, or even into them most of the time. When I asked people to justify the things they said, they'd always refer me back to the Bible. Sadly, I needed a little more than that.

How incredibly true, per my experience, as well. I wasn't raised Pentacostal, but I got heavily involved with a group in high school - it was amazing how fast the self-hate poured on.

[identity profile] misalady.livejournal.com 2009-10-14 07:50 am (UTC)(link)
Good luck this season!

Page 1 of 2