applespice: it is a sparkly fairy ([funny] kill zombies)
How About Them Apples? ([personal profile] applespice) wrote2011-10-19 09:14 pm

LJ Idol - Week 1 - When You Pray, Move Your Feet

The end of the world - that's my shit. My fictional shit, anyway - my purely theoretical, gotta buy that new dystopian novel, sitting on the couch watching Children of Men on Netflix kind of shit. I'm not looking for meteors to come blazing out of the sky next Tuesday, marking the date of the zombie apocalypse in my day planner, or quietly crying in the bathtub about 2012 messing up the detailed plans I've made for my mid-twenties. It's just pretend, you know? I figure Gaea's got a few good spins left in her yet, so the end of the world isn't really on my radar.

Even so, I can't help thinking about it. Hypothetically. Usually on the treadmill, when I'm cranking up the pulse-pounding music that gets my Asics rockin'. Why think about the shopping list when I could be dodging imaginary monsters - terrifying human-nightmare hybrids created from the radiation of a nuclear blast? Or zombies (my personal favorite), creeping out of the urban sprawl and fought off with only a rusty machete and sheer, Xena-style badassery? Or wait, maybe the earth is already toast! Shit! Humanity has fled to outer space, where unknown creatures trawl the starry depths. Awesome, right? I could do this all day.

But you'd never know it, would you? Not if you saw me face-to-face. That intense look you see me sporting in the grocery store? You'd attribute that to weighing the pros and cons of chocolate versus vanilla cupcakes. Or maybe you'd think my mind was somewhere else entirely, perhaps on a newborn kitten or puppy in peril. I've just got that face - the face of innocence, vulnerability, and passion for all things cuddly. Who would suspect me of mentally massacring hordes of the undead in my free time?

Maybe you've even featured in my fantasies, oh fellow denizen of the cold cereal aisle! I may have fled your grasping fingers as you moaned after my brains on a moonlit city street. Perhaps I've swung an axe at you as you growled viciously at me from a darkened basement (you're not yourself, you see. It's the doomsday disease - it's made you a monster who hungers for human flesh). Maybe you're on my crew, an endearingly mismatched group of ragamuffins steadily clearing the moon of a hyperviolent alien race that has its sights set on invading Earth.

Either way, you should be ready. The end of the world is coming for you... this season in LJ Idol. Maybe not every week, but it's always lurking in the back of my mind - so be ready. If you're the religious type, feel free to call upon whatever deity you think is listening, but for goodness' sake don't fall behind.

You may not like what you become if you do.

[identity profile] bakerlooline.livejournal.com 2011-10-20 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
holy shit, this is amazing! so entertaining, good job! I certainly don't want to fall behind! but if I do, I'm coming for you. :)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!! Better keep up - I'd hate to have to "neutralize" your zombified body!

[identity profile] lilycobalt.livejournal.com 2011-10-20 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
I am now going to be alarmed every time you post photos of yourself of whether you're plotting zombie murder.

Actually, I'm going to want to team up with you.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
Muahahahahahaha!

Together, we will be unstoppable!

[identity profile] karmik.livejournal.com 2011-10-20 06:49 am (UTC)(link)
I am loving all these LJ Idol entries on my friends list. And man, this one is so good. I loved everything about your post :D

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:51 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!! :D

[identity profile] noodledays.livejournal.com 2011-10-20 02:45 pm (UTC)(link)
this was an incredibly fun read. :)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

[identity profile] zeitgeistic.livejournal.com 2011-10-20 07:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I love your sass.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
Why, thank you, darling!

[identity profile] m-malcontent.livejournal.com 2011-10-21 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
I want to be on the crew (or at least a lead zombie with evolved intelligence who you have to really work to kill).

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
I shall do my best! That's all I can promise!

[identity profile] michellerz.livejournal.com 2011-10-21 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
*applauds*

*gets popcorn*

I'm so ready. Bring it!! ;)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, it's already been broughten.
shadowwolf13: (Default)

[personal profile] shadowwolf13 2011-10-21 04:35 am (UTC)(link)
Hee! Awesome! I love the in your face, bad ass feel to this. :D Fantastic!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I have to admit - it was fun!

[identity profile] sweeny-todd.livejournal.com 2011-10-21 05:23 am (UTC)(link)
*thumbs up* to the Xena reference. She is definitely one badass :-)

I am ready for whatever you throw at LJ Idol :-D

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
Xena was my childhood hero! Had to give her a shout-out ;)

I'll do my best to provide the thrills and chills!

[identity profile] tamaraland.livejournal.com 2011-10-21 07:28 am (UTC)(link)
Awesome! Now I'm going to spend all day wondering what people are really thinking when wandering the corridors.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
I can only hope that it's all zombies, all the time. Because really, you have to be prepared for these things.

[identity profile] everywordiwrite.livejournal.com 2011-10-21 10:01 am (UTC)(link)
This is so different, so engaging, and so much fun!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

[identity profile] victoria7.livejournal.com 2011-10-21 09:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay! I liked reading this. :-)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
I'm so glad :)

[identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com 2011-10-22 01:33 am (UTC)(link)
Okay, I'll be honest, you didn't have me until, "Maybe you've even featured in my fantasies, oh fellow denizen of the cold cereal aisle!" A line like that deserves a vote. *grin*

Thanks for the fun entry, there've been plenty of dark ones with this week's topic.

Dan

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
*curtsy* Thank YOU, kind sir!

[identity profile] basric.livejournal.com 2011-10-22 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
I hate zombies, I loved this (=

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
Yay!! Thank you!

[identity profile] 38.livejournal.com 2011-10-22 12:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I love this! Can't wait to read more!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!! :)

[identity profile] whipchick.livejournal.com 2011-10-22 03:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Fun! Who knows what even lurks in the hearts of men... :)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:56 am (UTC)(link)
The destruction of all mankind! MUAHAHAHAHA!

[identity profile] barrelofrain.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
Last night a coffeeshop I was at had a coffee called "zombie cure." They alleged that it tasted like brains. :)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
SuhWEET. I don't even like coffee, but I'd have to make a move on that beverage!

[identity profile] myrna-bird.livejournal.com 2011-10-23 08:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Great fun and entertaining post.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

[identity profile] alien-infinity.livejournal.com 2011-10-24 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
So much fun! And zombies! :)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

Zombies rule ;)

[identity profile] cacophonesque.livejournal.com 2011-10-24 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
This is just too funny. Especially because I absolutely know what you mean about people not suspecting you of having those thoughts.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
I think that's what makes it so much fun, actually. It would be as entertaining if people could figure you out at a glance!

[identity profile] malinaldarose.livejournal.com 2011-10-24 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
This is fun!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

[identity profile] basric.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 01:43 am (UTC)(link)
Absolutely wonderful

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!! :)

[identity profile] copyright1983.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
I'll admit I do this too, though it's usually more in the mold of envisioning how a James Bond-esque shootout would play out in a public space. :) Great entry!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 03:59 am (UTC)(link)
Oohh, I like that one, too! Any kind of badass action sequence can easily claim my heart.

Thank you!

[identity profile] sonophax.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
Ahaha, I SO do this too. I have an escape route planned for every place I have ever lived and worked! I read a quote a couple years ago, and it's silly but fitting enough: "The hardest part of a zombie apocalypse will be pretending I'm not excited."

Nicely done!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
That's the way to do it! Make a plan, make a kit, etc. I am confident that I would survive the zombie apocalypse should it ever descend upon us - it's all a matter of logistics and planning, after all ;)

Thanks!

[identity profile] stharridan.livejournal.com 2011-10-25 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
Hahahah, this has got to be one of my favourites!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-10-26 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
Hooray!! Thank you!

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