applespice: it is a sparkly fairy ([art] sultry)
How About Them Apples? ([personal profile] applespice) wrote2011-04-11 09:53 pm
Entry tags:

LJ Idol - Week 21 - Open Topic - Man Down

We realized right off that the girl was going to be a hard nut to crack. Usually it's easy - slap 'em around a little bit and they'll tell you anything you want to know. Knocks them out of the shock. Usually it doesn't take more than once, just one little pop on the cheek, and they're moaning and clutching their faces and pouring the whole sad story out at your feet.

But this girl was different, right from the start. For one thing, she was as hard and lean as any of the Army guys, all muscle and bone. And she didn't look down at her feet like the other detainees always do. She stared us right in the face, with her jaw set and her hands resting at her sides, like she was going to pull a knife any second. It was a little freaky, I don't mind telling you, even though we'd checked her for weapons before bringing her in (and you know how Raimey is - he probably checked her three or four times, jerking himself off the whole time). She didn't answer any questions, either, just glared at us with those crazy gray eyes of hers. When the lights hit them it was like there wasn't any color there at all, just white on white with a little black dot in the middle, stuck right on you. I can still see them, just like she's here in front of me, sitting where you are.

Well, the Cap got sick of the button-lips routine, and gave us the go ahead for a little rough stuff. It was mostly Porter that did it - he likes that kind of thing, but he doesn't do it too hard (like some of the other guys, who'd have her spitting teeth). Still, I did her a bit myself, just a couple of smacks. Let me tell you, she wasn't like any other woman I've ever done it to. She didn't make any noise, no noise at all, and she'd just ratchet her head around to face front again every time you popped her one. It was freaky, like I said, especially with the blood and all.

I still can't believe she offed those guys. Four guys! Army, too. And her only about five foot three. They found the whole pile of them out at Supply Depot 6, and her just sitting there, covered in blood, calm as you please. Like she was waiting to catch a bus or something. They'd been beaten to death, looked like, but I can't figure how she did it on all her own. I don't know how anybody could take out four Army without any weapons.

Cap figures she's got an accomplice somewhere, one of those asshole fringe types always making racket about the End of the World. That's why we did the rough stuff, to figure out where this other whackjob was so we could take him out. Usually those weirdo types are pretty peaceful - annoying as fuck, but it's not like they're gonna swing at you - but sometimes the real crazy ones can get violent. Something about being so close to the Brains just sets some people off. That's what the Cap thinks happened; one of those weirdos got too close to the Brains, and they set him off on the crazy stuff. He got the girl roped into it (you know how those conspiracy cult guys are, all those women around), and wham bam, four dead guys.

But let me tell you something, I don't think there is an accomplice. Something about the way that girl looked at me, I think she did it herself.

At first I thought that she might be one of them, the Brains. Army says they've got them all locked up, snug as a bug in those bunkers, but I don't see why one of them couldn't have flown under the radar. I'm thinking that the girl is a Brain, and she told those guys to beat each other to death, sweet as you please, in that voice they use. Remember that? In training? I can still remember what that Brain said to me, right inside my head - "Jump, Walter. Jump. Jump." And I did it, too, jumped clean off the rail of that catwalk. I was only lucky that it wasn't that high.

We all did what they said, didn't we? You did it, too, I can tell by your face. That was the point of the training, Cap said, to show us what we were up against if they should ever get loose. We can't fight them, not with what they can do. And the Army says they've got it under control, but those fuckers are something serious. I don't see how they can think that guns and a bunker could keep them out. If the Army can't stop them, what are we supposed to do? No little militia outfit is going to stop those things.

That's why we're all here, because of them. They started popping up out of nowhere, messing with people's heads, and the whole world went to shit. People blowing themselves up, blowing each other up, blowing whole countries up! And the Army just can't let it go, thinks those things can be fixed to work for us. Rewired to tell all the terrorists to shove grenades up their asses and we'll be in the clear - the ol' US of A, on top again. Well, I don't think so. If you ask me, all the Brains should be exterminated. Just wiped out, every last one. I remember what that thing sounded like, inside my head. I'll never forget it as long as I live.

Why are you looking at me like that, anyway? You know what I'm saying is true. I had a life before those things showed up, a real life. I was a banker, just a regular Joe, and it was great. It was fucking great and I didn't even see it. One day there I was, going to work and drinking lattes and eating McDonald's and the whole bit, and the next there are the headlines about these psychic motherfuckers getting into people's heads and making them do stuff - crazy stuff. People dying all over the place, suicides and shootings and bombings and who knows what else.

Now we're all stuck here, what's left of us, in these shitty Army compounds, doing whatever shitty jobs they assign us. Fucking militia! I'd never fired a gun in my life until I got here. All because of those fucking Brains! It drives me crazy! Sometimes I don't know what I'm even doing anymore. I just feel like I'm going nuts.

I'll tell you what I'd like to do that girl, I'd like to kill her myself. I can even see how I'd do it. I'd put my hands around her neck first, and then I'd shake her, I'd shake her so hard her teeth would rattle together, and then I'd throw her down on the floor and hit her, again and again. I'd beat her like those guys were beat, until the blood spewed out of her. All over the floor and all over me and all over everything! And I'd just keep on hitting her, even when she'd gone all limp and soft, because of what she did - what they all did! Fuck her, fuck the Brains, fuck it all!



Hey... hey, man... what are you doing? What are you doing down there? You all right, man? What the fuck... are you okay?

Oh, God. Oh, God, what did I do?





---------------


This week's Idol prompt contained an intersection challenge! This round, all of the remaining contestants will be working with a partner. My partner is [livejournal.com profile] supremegoddess1, who wrote a companion piece to this one. Her entry is HERE, and it is absolutely amazing. Our vote totals will be tallied together this week, so do read and give us any love you can spare :)

[identity profile] dream-in-flame.livejournal.com 2011-04-12 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
whoaaaa, cool :O

I liked your last one too, I just can't remember if I said anything or not XD

[identity profile] basric.livejournal.com 2011-04-12 06:56 am (UTC)(link)
A wonderfully written, futuristic psychological thriller. A home run out of the park.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-12 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you!! :)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-12 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much! Man, this makes me feel great!

[identity profile] supremegoddess1.livejournal.com 2011-04-13 12:12 am (UTC)(link)
my entry is up sweetie. I've linked yours in mine as well.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-13 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
So excellent! I've linked to your story in this post.

[identity profile] supremegoddess1.livejournal.com 2011-04-13 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
I think we rock. :)

[identity profile] beeker121.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
This is creepy. I think I'd prefer zombies to the Brains for my apocalypse.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
I think I would, too, if it comes to that!

[identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, man, creepy. I wouldn't want something in my head like that either.

[identity profile] lawchicky.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
This is so creepy in a horrific almost real life way!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
She just wants to cuddle up to your brain and make you her meat puppet bwa ha ha!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I've become such a fan of creepy in the last couple of years... I just don't know what's come over me!

[identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
After reading your partner's entry, I am thankful that I shouldn't have to worry about being a target ;)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
It's true. Goodbye, male privilege!

[identity profile] locknkey.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
Really like the voice here and the little twisty at the end!
yachiru: (escape)

[personal profile] yachiru 2011-04-14 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Nice job this week! I like the narration.
ext_289215: (Default)

[identity profile] momebie.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Right. I'll be needing to know more about her NOW PLEASE.

[identity profile] vaguelyclear.livejournal.com 2011-04-14 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Duuuuuuuude. This is awesome! You have such a knack for fiction and storytelling. I love the way you structured this - with the guy talking to us; gave the piece really great flow :D

[identity profile] roina-arwen.livejournal.com 2011-04-15 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
Oooh - very well done, I really enjoyed this!

[identity profile] imafarmgirl.livejournal.com 2011-04-15 10:50 am (UTC)(link)
Very creepy but it had me hooked in.

[identity profile] ecosopher.livejournal.com 2011-04-15 01:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I think you're right :)

[identity profile] ecosopher.livejournal.com 2011-04-15 01:01 pm (UTC)(link)
What an awful idea, to not be able to control yourself...
shadowwolf13: (Default)

[personal profile] shadowwolf13 2011-04-15 05:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Love the twist! :D

[identity profile] cheshire23.livejournal.com 2011-04-15 11:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I did NOT see that ending coming at all.

You 'n [profile] supremegoddess1 done good. :)

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
I hope you read [livejournal.com profile] supremegoddess1's piece! :))

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
Eee, thank you!! :))) It has been so lovely to get such nice feedback on my fiction in this competition... I really have never been confident about it before. ♥

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!!

Love the icon, btw ;) My kitty's name is Leeloo!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
Definitely something I'm afraid of.

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

[identity profile] applespicy.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
Yay!! I'm glad it was a surprise! :) And thank you!

[identity profile] amenquohi.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
This actually made me shudder. Very nicely done!

[identity profile] redvelvetgrrl.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
wow, this story really pulled me in, can't wait to read the other half!

[identity profile] m-malcontent.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 03:32 am (UTC)(link)
Excellent work, enjoyed.

[identity profile] snarkerdoodle.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Ooooh, I loved this! Great voice for the narrator -- I think it made for a stronger piece in the first person than I think it would have been in the third. Good stuff! :)

[identity profile] java-fiend.livejournal.com 2011-04-16 03:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh very creepy and very well done. I really enjoy your fiction and think you tell a really good story. Nicely done!

[identity profile] i-17bingo.livejournal.com 2011-04-19 04:33 pm (UTC)(link)
It's hard to grasp the enormity of what's happened to the world; I assume that's the idea, because it kind of scares the crap out of me.